


The story of Lexa kom Trikru

by Ai_Laik_Heda



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Background - Freeform, Beyond the show, Drama, F/F, Romance, life story
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-21
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-11-03 06:41:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10961814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ai_Laik_Heda/pseuds/Ai_Laik_Heda
Summary: This fanfiction takes place in narration of Lexa, providing insight in her thoughts and motivations. It starts when Lexa was 11 and continues until after "the 100" - WARNING - CONTAINS TV-SHOW SPOILERS  (this fanfiction is for a large extent true to the tv-series)My story began before I can remember. My story is painful, sad and without a happy ending. I loved and I was loved. This is my full story, the story of Leksa kom Trikru.ON HIATUS --> Due to time constrictions and lack of inspiration I am putting this story on hiatus, but I promise to continue soon





	1. What's going on?

My story began before I can remember. My story is painful, sad and without a happy ending. This is my story, the story of _Leksa_ _kom_ _Trikru_ _._  

I was taken from my mother before I could even remember her face. My existence has revolved around death and killing. After having the blood on my hands from my only friend, I made a vow; _Noumou_ _. Enough._  

“LEXA!” I ducked to avoid impact from my opponent’s sword. In vein. The sword grazed the side of my cheek, leaving him at the advantage. I gritted my teeth and in one fluent movement I was back on my feet. Guess that agility training was not such a waste. My mouth formed a sarcastic grin, “Is that all you have, Edaii?” tauntingly, I circled him, breaking his defences. 

Edaii was a slender 11-year old from another Trikru village. We were the two ‘lucky’ ones sent to Polis, sent to train and become the potential new _Heda_ _._ Being Trikru bonded us when we first arrived. Edaii and I have been training together ever since we could walk, our fate as nightbloods. We arrived to Polis at the same time, we were four years old and scared, not knowing what was waiting for us. I was not always as straightforward and confident as I am now. I used to hide from trainings, but that didn’t bring me much other than more physical pain. It was Edaii that helped me through that. It’s only now that I start to appreciate the lessons issued by Titus, he no longer frightened me, but I am no match for him either. My body is slender and muscled, tough, but I am in full control. Edaii is not, his development is catching up on me. He is starting to get stronger, but I am more flexible.   

“Focus is not your thing today, is it Lexa?” Edaii’s blue eyes stared at me tauntingly.  

I huffed. “Bite me, Edaii. That was the only blood you will draw from me today.” roughly I wiped the cut clean with my sleeve and turned my head to spit the remainders of black blood in the grass before crouching back in position. I twirled my sword and motioned to him “Come and get me, oh great future Heda” I said sarcastically. As is his custom, he parades, aiming for my left side. My weaker side. I saw him coming and shifted my feet to the right just ever so slightly, dodging his sword easily this time. My movement got him out of balance and it only took a slight hit from my sword to send him face-down in the mud. “HA. Touché, Edaii” I pointed my sword in his back and grinned triumphantly. He made a mocking face at me, knowing full well he had lost.        

Footsteps near, just behind the treeline of the clearing we used as our arena. “LEXA!!” The irritation in Titus’s voice was unmistaken. Uh oh… Did I miss the sparring session? I cringed. I knew that today was the day I would be paired up with Luna. Involuntary I thought back about what happened last time and swallow the uneasy feeling down. I took my position to address master Titus respectfully. His voice boomed over the field. “LEXA, NOW.” I always found him intimidation, knowing full well that explanations were not going to help my case, I lowered my gaze and excused myself. “I am sorry master.” 

He looked down in disdain and huffed. “You are late. Again. Don’t let me look like a fool, Lexa.”  

Holding my posture I fixed my gaze on the grass below me, acknowledging my mistake silently and I promised myself to not let him down. “No I will not, master.” I whispered.  

Edaii is observed me from a distance. It was not his training day, so he was off the hook. But he knew as well as me how it feels to be in this position.  

“Then, let’s go, Lexa. You are being expected.” Titus turned around and walked back in the direction of the arena with long strides.  

Confused I scrambled up. Expected? I threw a questioning glance in Edaii’s direction, but he raised his shoulders and mouthed “I don’t know.”      

I hurried to follow Titus’s large steps. I was quite sure that Luna kom Floukru would not be ‘expecting’ me. Yeah, perhaps to kill after injuring her brother last week. As we neared the center of Polis, I saw a large crowd gathered up at the edge of the arena, which was located just on the edge of Polis’ center. An uneasy feeling crept up on me. No, this was not about missing a training. But what was it about? I squinted my eyes, trying to make out the symbol in the distance. Unmistaken, Trikru. That confused me, I was sent to Polis to train here, as is custom for all nightbloods. Why would they be here now?  

As we near the crowd, Titus began speaking, in his mentor voice this time. “Listen Lexa, you make use of your advantages. No one is as fast and flexible as you. Use that. They will underestimate you according to your lack of muscle, but you make up for that by agility. Remember how we practised last week.”  

I thought back to the agility training and how I beat the other nightbloods with exception of Luna. The wound on the back of my calve was the silent remainder of Luna’s victory and I winced thinking back to that moment. Luna was outraged because I beat her little brother and she took her rage out on me. She was not much taller or older than I was, but she was ten times as strong as me. I scanned the crowd to see if there were others from my class, and then I spotted Irinay, the leader of the Trikru clan. Her fiery red hair stands out in any crowd, and she was so much taller than any other of the Trikru I have known. Her muscular build and fierce stance instantly made you want to respect her, leadership came naturally to her. I have always looked up to her, she was also a nightblood, one class higher than me. Suddenly it all made sense. This was not just a random training, this is the real thing. I heard Irinay’s second vanished with the rest of the inhabitants and warriors of one Trikru village, Washi. Everyone was completely wiped out when the clan was defending enemy lines under her command. What happened to them, no one knew and Irinay herself didn’t come back un-scattered either. She was the sole survivor, probably because she was thought to be dead. The severity of her injuries attested to that, the scars were evident. One of her piercing blue eyes was scanning the area around her, the other one was carefully covered by a black cloth. Her left leg was limping and twisted in a strange position. If she would be called for a conclave now, she would never survive.  

In anticipation of what was to come, the palms of my hands were becoming warm and moist, my heartbeat raised in my chest, causing the gaze on my cheek to flow again. Quickly I wiped the black blood off and mentally went over my battle advantages. Speed. Surprise. Suppleness.  

As we arrived in the center arena, I took my position and observed my three opponents. One boy from Azgeda, I had seen him, but did not train with him. He had an arrogant grin on his face and he looked about fifteen. The awkwardness already lifted from his body, making place for muscles. The way he clenched his sword showed me that he would not hold back in using that advantage. The second girl I knew, Aïda. She was tall and  featured a muscular build, she was about two years older than me and she was born in Polis. She is a representative of the Floukru, same as Luna. The last boy I had never seen before. His face was covered by long black hair which was carefully braided in the back, warrior style. He looked small, but judging by his posture I would be wise not to underestimate him.  

Then, the murmur of voices died down as Titus raised his hands asking for attention. 

His loud, authoritarian voice boomed through the arena. “Today we have gathered with our champions, to decide who is worthy to follow Irinay temporary.” Irinay rised and a loud murmur raised from the crowd. It was highly unlikely for a clan leader to choose a second from the nightbleeders. Irinay raised her  left hand and started speaking, the murmur died down seconds later. “As you know, my warriors have vanished. Leaving Trikru Kanaku exposed. I call upon the champions to reinforce and retaliate.” As Irinay sat down, Titus stepped forward, pointing at me to rise first. 

I rose and took my place in front of Irinay as Titus’ voice announced “I present to you; LEKSA kom Trikru!” I heared a hint of pride in his voice, with renewed confidence I nodded to Irinay. From the corner of my eye I saw the boy from Azgeda leering at me before Titus continued.  

“TAGOTA kom Azgeda!” The boy rose, almost in an arrogant way and assumed his place next to me. I could almost feel his smugness radiating.  

Titus did not take notion and continued, pointing at girl from Floukru. “AÏDA kom Floukru!” Aïda quietly strode and took position next to Tagota before she looked at Irinay and nodded.  

Lastly Titus motioned to the boy I didn't knew to come forward. “JAHU kom Trishanakru!” The black-haired boy slowly rose and respectfully nodded to Irinay before taking his position next to Aïda.  

Titus steps forward before announcing “ _Teik_ _sadgeda_ _stot au,_ _oso_ _don_ _hod_ _op_ _feva_ _._ ” (let the conclave begin, we have waited long enough).


	2. The first conclave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa is facing her first real challenge. This is where she trained for ever since she could walk. How will she do?
> 
> Feedback is appreciated!

The arena was pretty wide, surrounded by a treeline on the long end, colorful vines on the side and on the front border of the area a stage was positioned. The stage was pre-apocalyptic and adorned with impressive metal ornaments. It offered a high position, making it possible to look out over the whole area. The arena itself was not just an open field, through the middle ran a small ditch and there were some logs and boulders scattered over the area. I was training here with Edaii last week, we were joking about the vines that grow on the sides and how they inflict more damage than a knife if you’d fall in it. I was positioned at the same point where my training always started. On the very edge, slightly concealed by a large boulder on my left side, facing the largest part of the arena. It made it easy to spot my opponents, Aïda was crouched behind a log on my left, Jahu was on the far end close to the stage and Tagota was on my right behind me. I sucked my breath in involuntarily and the adrenaline gushed through my body. Every muscle was tense, I could feel every fibre in my body ready to respond. I rested my hand on the dagger strapped to my side ready to counter whatever was coming for me.  

  
The horn sounded, No. I would not let Titus down. Or myself. With the sounding of the horn the conclave began. I leaped up, creating distance between myself and my opponents, I wanted to see their moves first. From the corner of my eye I saw a spear flying at my face, in one swift motion I ducked behind the boulder I was using as shield, effectively avoiding impact. As it flew by, I recognized Azgeda symbols on the weapon. I breathed out to create some space in my chest and drew the sword from my back when I heard a piercing howl behind me. Aïda. I turned my head only to face her with a raised arm, her hand was wrapped around a small knife, she was gasping for air her eyes were wide and her mouth was open in shock. The spear I just avoided was embedded in the middle of her chest.

  
There was not much time to think about it. I twirled around to face Tagota, who appeared behind me with a curved blade, ready to strike. His eyes were fixed on me and his mouth curled up in an evil grin. “Read to meet your maker, little girl?” He tauntingly asked. “Not quite yet!” I yelled at him as I crouched down in a low position and kicked his knee out swiftly. He growled in response and pushed himself upward. “Wrong, little girl.” He snarled. “No, you are wrong!” I pulled the dagger that was strapped to my side and aimed it for his chest. He was faster than I gave him credit for, he dodged my move with his hand. The blade went straight through his hand, but did not hit him in the intended spot. He locked his eyes with mine and pushed me back with a snarl as if I was a puppy getting in the way. I gritted my teeth as my back slammed in the boulder. My infuriation subsided slightly when I saw blood pouring from his hand.

My smugness was not long-lived when suddenly something locked around my neck and yanked me upward. In a reflex I bent my back backwards and pushed my feet hard on the boulder. With success I managed to create a momentum, the movement and flexibility of my body allowed me to wrap my legs around the neck of my attacker. I tightened my grip as I hung upside down from his neck, with my chest to his. Jahu was taken by surprise by my counter attack and took one moment too long to find his weapon. I tightened my grip a bit more, depriving him from oxygen when I felt a sharp stab in my side. I gasped and lost my grip, which caused me to drop 3 feet. In a reflex I stretched my left arm to not drop full on my head. Sharp pain spread through my arm and the upper side of my back. Unfortunately, the struggle caused Jahu to drop me just above a bush of thorny vines. One of the 25 cm long and sharp thorns was deeply embedded in my leg, a dozen shorter thorns were equally spread over the length of my arm and in my back. My arm was bent in an awkward position and the pain caused by the poison of the vines almost made me pass out. I was only slightly aware of the fight going on between Tagota and Jahu above me, my consciousness was slowly fading, protecting my body from the pain. I struggled to resist, passing out would surely mean my death. I grabbed myself and pulled out a string of thorns. The end of the thorns were equipped with barbed hooks, causing half of them to break in my flesh. I growled in frustration and pain. The large thorn was deeply hooked in the muscle and movement caused a sharp throbbing pain. I patted my side, looking for my dagger. Empty! I gasped, I must have lost it when I was dropped. I reached for my sword which was strapped to my back and unsheathed it. I took a big gulp of air and clenched my jaw to avoid passing out. With my sword I cut myself loose from the vines, leaving the large thorn in its place. I would deal with it later, it would do me no good to pass out from blood loss.

  
I scrambled up and looked up to locate Jahu and Tagota and I spotted them near the small ditch that ran through the area. Watching them bought me time to recover the initial shock and more important, to find my dagger. I slowly got up and scanned the area. In the tall grass I saw a faint shimmer, there! The dagger was the only thing I had from my parents, it was sent with me when I was brought to Polis. I picked it up and strapped it back to my side, the sword was still in my hand. I was just deciding whether to sneak up on the boys or to remain hidden for a little while longer when Tagota got the overhand in the fight. He managed to work Jahu to the ground and reached for his spear. “Yu gonplei ste odon.” (your fight is over) With these words he speared Jahu straight in the chest. I hear a gasp from the crowd, I totally forgot we had company. They were too far away to make out any facial features, but I could make out the red robe Titus was wearing. It was between me and Tagota now...

As the horn sounded to announce Jahu’s death, I decided that surprise would be the best way to go, and I had no time to waste. I knew the arena very well, so I knew I could reach Tagota from behind if he would come looking for me at the spot where they left me. With my sword ready I crawled through the high grass, keeping eyes on my opponent at all times. Tagota removed the spear from Jahu’s chest and kicked his body aside before turning around to face the area where they had left me. “Oh little girl” he called out. “Come out and play!”

I gritted my teeth. Facing him full on would not be wise, I was hurt and not half his size. As I guessed, he made way towards the builder where I fell. If I wanted to win, this would be my only shot. “All or nothing, I guess” I mumbled under my breath. I gripped my sword tighter and waited for Tagota to be near enough. I remembered Titus’ words “When you are certain that your opponent is stronger than you, let them think they beat you. And then, you surprise them.” How often had I been on my back with someone hovering over me holding a dagger to my throat. I never trained with Tagota, he came to Polis only a few weeks ago. Azgeda mostly trained their nightbloods themselves, even though Heda had ordered for all the nightbloods to be in Polis. The Azgeda tribe did not give up their nightblood lightly.

Tagota was only a few steps away, prodding the ground with his spear. He had a slight grin on his face, as if he had already won the fight. You haven’t met me yet, I thought to myself. Everything around the arena was silent, I could hear his footsteps and counted that he must be about one leap away. Now, or never. I leaped and used the momentum to thrust my sword forward with a grunt. He turned fast as lightning and blocked the attack with his spear. The force of his blocking knocked the sword out of my hand and sent it flying a few feet away. The grass was too slippery to hold my balance, and I fell over backwards. Within a split second he was hovering over me, pinning me down with the length of the spear he was holding. The grin spread over his face in a low and husky voice he said “There you are, Leksa” He drew out my name mockingly. The way he said my name infuriated me. Who was he to think he could mock me? I reached down my side for my dagger, but he was faster. “Nah uh, little princess. We’re not going to play with knifes.”

I spat in his face “Kill me and get over with it, oh great king of Azgeda” I said tauntingly. His eyes darkened at my words and he leaned forward. “With pleasure, little princess” he said while he reached for his dagger. His hand was still bleeding from my earlier attack. THINK Lexa, THINK! Then, a sharp pain in my leg reminded me of the thorn that was still embedded in my flesh. Quickly I reached down and grabbed the thorn, before I pulled it out I grabbed some dirt in my other hand and threw it up in his face to distract him. “I am NOT dying today” I growled.

“AH!” he shouted and he let go of the spear to rub the dirt out of his eyes, it gave me a second to pull the thorn out. With his attention to his eyes, his back was uncovered. I prayed he was wearing traditional armour that protects the body, but that also leaves space to move. With all the force that I had left in my mangled body I brought the thorn down on his back, approximately where his kidney would be. His back arched backwards and he growled in pain. I used the distraction to wrap my legs around his lower back, squeezing the thorn further into his body. His was distorted in pain and he was not paying any attention to his spear anymore. I reached for his spear while uttering the words in a whisper, “Yu gonplei ste odon, Tagota kom Azgeda” (your fight is over, Tagota from Azgeda) and I planted his spear in chest. His eyes rolled into the back of his head and the air escaped his lungs with an audible gasp before he fell forward on top me. 

I had never taken a life before. The last thing I remember is a sound of the horn, before I too, passed out from pain and bloodloss.


	3. Costia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A soft voice comforted me. "Shhhh Lexa, it's alright, just lie down"

Ow. I blinked my eyes. The light was not very comfortable to the pounding in my head. My body felt like a dozen of boulders were dumped on it. My left arm was tightly strapped to my chest and to my horror I was not wearing clothes other than the bandage holding my arm into place. I tried pushing myself up, someone gently pushed back. Everything around me was fuzzy, but a soft voice comforted me. "Shhhh Lexa, it's alright, just lie down" I blinked, trying to make out a face, but everything was too fuzzy. The soft voice continued "My name is Costia kom Trikru, and I am a apprentice healer. You took some serious beating, we thought you might not make it."  

I groaned as the memories floated back into my mind. That very last sight of Tagota's face is something I will never forget. An uneasy feeling of guilt crept up on me. "Wha.. What happened?" I croaked.  

Costia's hand moved to my forehead, gently brushing a few stray hairs back. My vision was restoring slowly and the soft touch of Costia's hand comforted me in a way I never felt before. She looked down on me and simply answered "You won, Lexa." She hesitated for a moment before she continued. "It was a hell of a fight, and you killing the prince of Azgeda was not received well with the Ice nation."  

My mouth dropped. So he was a prince... I pondered for a moment, I did not remember seeing the king of Azgeda in the public, but then again, my memories were jumbled. I squinted my eyes in an attempt to block out some of the light and to meet Costia's eyes. I was met with her gentle sky colored eyes, which looked worrisome for some reason. She was pretty, not the average Trikru girl. Her face was petite, very feminine and her cheekbones popped out just enough. She looked about my age, maybe a little bit younger.  

I scrambled up and pulled the blanket up higher to cover myself. "How long was I out for?" I asked. 

 The corners of her mouth curled up in disapproval when I tried to move myself, but she did not stop me this time. "About one and a half day. You have lost a lot of blood, your shoulder was dislocated and the poison from the vines was almost too much for your body."  

She reached for a bowl of water that was positioned next to my bed and wetted a rag which she gently placed on my forehead. "I bet your head hurts." She mumbled. Silently I nodded. The pounding was terrible, I couldn't determine what hurt the most; my leg, my head or my arm. I studied her face for a moment and from the look on it I could tell that she was not telling me everything.  

"You are hiding something from me. What happened after I..." I swallowed the last word, not ready to admit I had killed someone. "After I won?"   

She sighed and leaned back. “Look Lexa, I am not supposed to tell you these things, maybe it will be better if you’d wait for Irinay or Titus to come back. They should arrive shortly, I sent for them.” She smiled at me. Her smile was warm and genuine, I couldn’t do anything else than just smile back at her. “Lexa..?”  

“Hmm?” I felt drowsy and had trouble keeping my eyes open.  

Gently she pushed me back. I didn’t resist this time. “No.. Nothing. Just rest.” 

With that, I sighed and closed my eyes. 

When I opened my eyes again Costia was gone and Irinay was sitting on the end of the bed, reading a scroll. I scrambled up and she looked up from her scroll with a friendly smile. “Welcome back, Lexa.”  

I tried bowing my head in a respectful gesture, as is custom to address our elders. Irinay smiled and put her hand on my good shoulder to stop me. “No Lexa, it’s okay.” I had never met Irinay, but she looked very young as well. I estimated she was 17 years old, tops.  

I tried answering her with a smile, I only half managed before I felt a sharp stab in my shoulder. “Ow!” I cringed. “Irinay?” I asked carefully.  

She sighed. “I owe you an explanation I suppose.” She placed her hand on mine and looked at me. “First of all, congratulations, Lexa. You did very well, I knew you would win.”  

I looked at her confused. She continued. "It was not a coincidence that I asked you to compete, I have been following your progress for some time and this was the perfect opportunity for me to see if you have what it takes. As you might have heard, I lost my entire village. Costia -whom you have already met- is the only survivor from the most recent mountain attack." 

I had heard vague rumors about villages being raided and people disappearing, but I never heard anything about a mountain. I raised my eyebrow. "The mountain? What are you talking about?"  

Irinay continued. "Mount Weather is harbouring an evil entity of people. What exactly is going on in there – we don't know. The only thing we know is that our people are vastly disappearing, two towns just disappeared in the last couple of weeks. Heda Maximus appointed me to protect our people but I need someone by my side that I can trust to do what is necessary."  

She bent forward and adjusted the bandage that was strapped around my shoulder. Then she lifted the cover to take a look at my leg. Black blood was seeping through the bandages, staining the bed. Carefully she unwrapped the bandage around my leg and examined the wound. "It is healing, but slowly. There was a lot of poison in your blood." She picked up a cloth and cleaned the crusted blood around the wound before reaching for a clean bandage and wrapping it up again. "Costia did a good job on this." She said satisfied. 

As if on cue, Costia walked back in the room and she greeted me with a warm smile. "Ah Lexa! You're up. How is your head doing?" 

I smiled back at her, and jokingly replied. "Do you call this 'up'? I can barely move!"  

Costia grinned. "Well, we didn't know if you would wake up at all. But here you are. A true warrior." I gleamed with pride at those words. "And I found you someone; he was lurking in the hallway."  

Edaii stepped in the room with a concerned expression on his face. "Lexa!" He ran up to me and threw his arms around my neck.  

"OW! Be careful!" I complained.  

Irinay scooted to the end of the bed to give us some room and Costia smiled apologetically at me. "I'm sorry, I thought you might wanted to see him." 

I waved away her apology. "That's allri.. Ow!" My face wrinkled in pain when I accidently moved my shoulder in attempt to shrug. Costia pulled Edaii aside. "What is it?" She asked worriedly while moving her hand over the casting that held my arm into place. 

"No, it's nothing." I tried to brush it off, but the pain was written on my face and I didn't fool anyone.  

Edaii threw me an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry Lexa! I was just so worried about you. I did not see the whole conclave, I came in at the moment that Jahu threw you down in the vines and I thought I had lost you." 

I grinned at Edaii. "I told you that was the last blood you would ever draw from me!"  

He slumped his shoulders in response, but stayed quiet otherwise.  

Irinay cleared her throat. "Edaii, could you give us a moment? There is a lot I need to discuss with Lexa." 

His face turned as red as her hair. "Uh.. O..of course." He stammered before bowing his head and exiting the room. 

"Edaii!" I called after him. He turned his head to meet my eyes. "I.. Uhh.. Are you coming back later?"  

He smiled before nodding enthusiastically. "Of course! And I will bring your dagger, I found it in the arena." With that, he disappeared. 

Also Costia backed up in order to leave. Irinay motioned with her hand to stop her. "Wait Costia, can you make sure she gets some nutrition in her system."  

Upon her mentioning food, I realised how hungry I actually was. My stomach growled in response. Costia and Irinay looked at me and laughed. "See, I guess someone is hungry."  

Costia grinned and removed a strand of hair from my face. "Let me make you something then." She said before she made way to the door.  

Irinay moved closer again. "We have a lot to discuss. But I need you fit and ready to leave in 2 days, the lives of our people depend on it." 


	4. May we meet again

One day later I was stumbling around the room. Irinay had transferred me from the apprentice dorms to the tower, so she could keep a closer eye on me. Costia had not left my side, she kept my injuries checked and made sure I rested as much as I could. It was nice having her by my side, aside from Edaii I never had someone around on whom I felt I could count on. A light knock on the door disturbed my train of thought, Costia got up and threw a cloth at me. “Wrap that around, Lexa” she ordered, as I could not fit any of my pants around my swollen leg yet. 

Irinay entered the room and looked me over. “You look a lot better, Lexa. How are you feeling?”  

I smiled at her in response and nodded carefully. “I feel a lot better.”  

She pulled a chair out and sat down. “We should talk.” 

I nodded silently in response.  

Before Irinay could start, the door opened and Titus stepped through. I had only seen him in a semi-conscious state, all I remembered was him telling me that he was proud before I lost consciousness.  

He nodded his head at me. “I see you’re up and running, Lexa?”. 

I nodded in response. “Stretching and moving the muscles, doctors orders.” I responded while nodding my head at Costia. 

“She’s taking good care of you, I can tell.” 

Costia was shifting uneasy in the corner of the room, not being accustomed with being the subject of conversation.   

I limped towards a chair and sat down so I could stretch my leg. My arm had been freed from its constraints as well, but it was still stiff and tender to touch. “Master Titus, what brings you here today?” I asked. 

He stood opposite me and gave me a long look. It made me feel uneasy. “I came to bring you this” He said while extending his hand and showing me my dagger.  

I stared at him confused. Edaii told me he had it and he promised to stop by and give it to me. It’s true that he never showed, I just figured Titus had him training. An uneasy feeling crept up on me and I looked from the dagger to Titus.  

“Where is Edaii?” I asked him promptly. 

“He is pre-occupied” He answered curtly. 

I raised my brow. “Why do I get the feeling that no one is telling me the whole story?” I said offended while crossing my arms.  

Now it was Titus’ turn to stare me down. “ _Noumou_ , Lexa.” (enough)  

I turned my eyes down and whispered in a trembling voice. “Yes Master.” 

Irinay felt the tense atmosphere. “What’s going on?” She demanded. 

Titus' face hardened when he turned around to answer her. “Nothing.” He said curtly before heading to the door. 

Irinay raised her hand to stop Titus from leaving. “ _Hodop_ _._ _”_ (hold up) 

She shifted her attention to me and asked. “What is going on, Lexa?” 

I looked from Titus to Irinay and my brain was in conflict. I knew that defying Titus was never the best option, however, I was under command of Irinay now. Before I could decide who was winning the fight in my head, Costia stepped forward and said. “She wanted to know why Titus was bringing her dagger, while the boy promised to bring it.”  

Irinay lowered her hand and glared at Titus. “Why wouldn’t you just tell her?” She demanded 

Titus glowered. “Because it would not do her any good.” 

“Hold op.” I said while raising my hand. “Tell me WHAT, exactly?” I demanded 

The past two days I had spent in the room, drifting between consciousness. The only person that had always been around was Costia. I didn’t thought much about being moved from the dorms – I kind of understood that it must have been easier. 

Titus his jaw flexed. “Very well, Irinay. But I warned you.” I looked between Titus and Irinay and she gave me a re-assuring look. Titus continued. “You winning the conclave did not fare well with the Ice Nation. Polis is surrounded with Azgeda and they want blood – your blood to be specific.”  

"Azgeda started a war, Lexa. This is the reason I had you moved up here." Irinay added. 

My eyes grew wide upon this information.  

I suddenly felt sick. “Bu.. But” I stammered. “What does that has to do with Edaii?”  

Titus shook his head. “He was seen in the arena to retrieve your dagger, after he had left you yesterday he was kidnapped by Azgeda. They sent his head to Polis because of his ties to you.”  

My stomach turned. My head was spinning and I was gasping for air.  

In one brusque gesture Titus planted my dagger in the table top right in front of me. " _Hodnos_ _laik_ _kwelness_ (love is weakness) _,_ Lexa. You know this." He said with an icy look in his eyes before heading to the door.   

A tear formed in the corner of my eye. Titus warned me before, his words echoed in my head. Love is weakness, friends are weakness, caring is weakness. He once asked me what I would do if I had to face Edaii in a conclave, I told him I would not do it. I would not kill him. That got me in deep trouble. 

I was so absorbed in my own grief that I didn't notice that Costia was behind me. She put her arms around me and comforted me silently. Irinay shook her head apologetically. "I'm sorry Lexa, but the dead are silent and the living are hungry." She handed me a larger pair of breeches before adding; "We leave at first light, be sure to be fully rested."  

With those words she left me and Costia behind. I stumbled towards the window, from which I could see the fields where Edaii and I spent countless hours, hiding from trainings and just enjoying one anothers company. I brought two fingers to my lips and kissed them before bringing them back to my chest, that was how Edaii and I always said our goodbyes. "May we meet again" I whispered. Costia then spent an hour just consolidating me, holding me and comforting me before bringing me back to bed. Then she got up and got her own make-shift bed ready.  

"Costia?" I asked in a soft plead. 

"Yes?"  

"Please don't leave me alone tonight." I whispered while drying the tears from my eyes.  

My eyes were fluffy and red, I was not a pretty sight. Nevertheless, Costia silently complied with my plead and placed her blanket on my bed before slipping under it. She pulled me in a tight embrace and whispered in my ear. "I would never leave you alone."  

In the comfort of being held, I drifted off in a restless sleep which was disturbed by images of Edaii's head without his body.  

When I woke up, I felt far from rested. Costia was still sleeping and I slipped silently from the bed in order not to disturb her. The morning was dark and fog was hanging heavily over Polis, I knew Irinay was going to show up at any moment now. I grabbed the breeches she previously gave me and dressed myself. I gritted my teeth when I pushed my swollen and still tender leg through the leg. I was just finished when Costia woke up. "Lexa?" She asked in a soft murmur. 

I went back to the bed and pressed a kiss on her forehead. "Thank you for all your concerns, Costia. May we meet again." It didn't feel good to leave her here. I felt like I had to protect her, but I knew she would be safer here. Healers are well protected, since they are scarce.  

She smiled back at me. "I will miss you, may we meet again." 


	5. 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's note: Sorry guys, shorter chapter! I have a thesis to deliver -- but I promise that some good stuff is coming up!

Just as I closed the door behind me, Irinay appeared in the hallway. Her red curls were braided back in war-style and she was wearing an extensive armour with two swords strapped to her back. She had one additional sword in her hand and she was carrying a smaller combat armour.

  
“Ah Lexa, are you ready to go?” 

I nodded. It was not completely true – my lack of sleep and the rough night before had made me weary.

Irinay tossed me the sword she was holding. “Here, an addition to yours, and I brought you an armour since yours got destroyed in the conclave.” 

I caught the sword in a fluent movement. 

“Thank you” I mumbled.

She motioned for me to turn around and put the armour over my head in order to avoid strain on my still sore shoulder. I strapped the additional sword over the other and fastened the straps that I could reach. Irinay took a step back and looked me over. “Perfect, I knew it would fit,” she nodded satisfied. “This was my old armour, only I wore it when I was about eight.” She added with a grin.

It's true that I was a bit smaller than others of my age, but eight? It did not really surprise me. Irinay towered above me, if her red curly hair wouldn't get your attention, then sure as hell her imposing body would.

Together we descended the tower in silence, outside, our horses were already ready and saddled. Titus was standing next to a chestnut stallion and motioned for me to come to him. Chagrin washed through me, he was about the last person I wanted to see. He put his hand on my shoulder and gave me an encouraging smile. 

"I am proud of you, Lexa. My last piece of advice to you is not to forget what I taught you. It will serve you well." His tone sounded sincere, but I had not forgiven him for keeping me in the dark. I wasn't ready yet.

Silently I bowed my head in a respectful way to thank him. One of the stable boys appeared next to me and positioned himself to help me on my horse. Thankful for the excuse to avoid further interaction with Titus, I shifted my attention to him. Titus gave me a nod in return and turned around to Irinay. I was grateful that the boy helped me up, still stiff from my predicament I positioned myself in the saddle and adjusted the stirrups for my short legs. The stallion was waiting patiently for me to be ready and the boy was stroking his neck as if he was saying goodbye. 

When I was ready the boy looked up to me and I saw a glimmer of wetness in his eyes. "His name is Elias." He whispered. "Please take good care of him, he is my best friend." I felt a stab when he said 'best friend' I knew what it was to lose one. I managed a smile. "I will, I will see that he comes home safely." The boy gave Elias a last hug before he ran off into the stables.   
Titus and Irinay were oblivious of the little exchange, it looked like they were discussing more pressing issues. Irinay's black stallion was ploughing the dirt with his hoof impatiently. Her stallion was large and had curly manes that almost touched the ground, his tail was swishing around in annoyance. 

I bowed forward and petted Elias on his forehead. "It's you and me now, Ed.. Elias." I whispered to the horse. I sighed. 

Then Irinay turned around. "Are you ready, Lexa?" 

I nodded. “Yes I am.” Suddenly all the signs of my previous weariness wore off, I motioned for Elias to step next to Irinay’s stallion. 

“Alright,” Irinay began “we are going North from Polis, Azgeda has occupied the main routes to and from the Trikru villages east from here.” She pulled out a map that was marked with red dots. “They will not expect us to go North, so we should be able to get behind the line of defence. Our first mission starts here,” she pointed at a village that read ‘TonDC’, “some unusual activity was reported by one of our riders. We have to be careful and inconspicuous, Azgeda is looking for you.” 

I shifted uneasy in the saddle. Elias was picking up on my anxiety and was pacing impatiently, I held him steady. Irinay rolled the map up and put it away before she motioned her horse in a slow trot, I spurred Elias to follow. Just before we reached the Northern border of Polis she pulled back to walk and steered her horse off the path into the trees. Silently I followed. We never took our eyes of the trees, we were scanning our surroundings meticulously. Just when I felt like I could relax a bit in my saddle, there was a rustle in the bush before us, in a reflex I pulled my sword from my back. Irinay noticed it too, and pulled her sword, too. She motioned for me to go around when someone jumped from the bushes.

“Hodop! Don’t kill me.” the boy cried. He was young, I estimated him to be around six years old, I lowered my sword. He had streaks of blood over his face and bare chest, his eyes were red and puffy from crying. I put my sword back but Irinay held her sword up suspiciously. 

“What happened here?” she asked the boy.

“A..a.. zgeda” he stammered. “They took my village hostage and killed my brother.” A tear rolled down his cheek, “I just got away.. please, can you help?” his large brown eyes stared as us, pleading. 

Irinay’s jaw clenched, “Azgeda” she repeated the word as if it was a curse.

She turned her head to me, “Lexa, don’t lower your defences. They might be lurking here.” 

I nodded and unsheathed my sword again. 

“You,” Irinay motioned to the boy, “do you know the way to Polis?”

He nodded silently, “my father is a merchant, he takes me every week.” 

“Good, make sure you are not seen, take the off-road route and head straight for the tower. When you are there, go ‘round back to the stables and say that Irinay sent you. Ask for Myra and tell her to send riders.”

The boy’s eyes widened and lit up with hope. He bowed his head and whispered “thank you” before he disappeared in the dense green of the forest.

Irinay looked at me with determination in her eyes, “I hope you have healed well enough, Lexa. We’re going to make a small detour.”

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter 5
> 
> What is waiting for Lexa outside Polis? How will she deal with the first lost she ever had to process?


End file.
